Day 4

Well today is day 4 of my diet and workout craze. Diet is going ok. Struggled this morning when I got home from work. I had the munchies BAD! But thank goodness I have plenty of points to eat a decent meal and some snacks tonight. I just bombed my 2nd DVD from The Firm Express. This one was Cardio. I liked the 1st DVD Sculpt which I did on monday. Still hurting from it too. Cardio was a LOT harder. I onlhy made it half way through and thought I was going to die literally. I was drawn to these DVDs because they say you are guaranteed weight loss working out 20 min 3 times a week. I figured on the days in between I would go speed walking or something. Yea well thats not going to happen at this point. These workouts are hard. They move fast and I struggle to catch on to each new move. I will try to get through Cardio again tomorow but I am just now sure I will make it. I have lost 3.2lbs since Sunday. That makes it worth it. I also started talking the stairs when I am on Peds in the NICU overflow. Sure its only 2 flights but I go up and down them like 4-5 times a night. Eventually I will get brave enough to go from the 1st floor to the 5th every day but not quite yet.
I was told not take phentermine anymore but a Doctor because it could be making more moody. I have really struggled lately after some issues at work and with Jayden and with some other people in my life. I AM NOT HAPPY. I feel lost. My life just repeats itself day after day. Sure I have a great job that pays well, I nice place to live, a nice car and an adorable child. But something is missing. I dont really know who I am anymore. I have become more emotional and get angry so quickly. Not having an appetite suppressant is going to be hard but I am hoping with eating better and exercising that I can still get through it. I have got to change myself to become a better mother to Jayden and nurse at work. I deserve to be HAPPY!